I visited the place along the California coast where more than four decades ago Kim and I made our first serious marital commitment to each other. I walked the harbor, the pier, and the beach, remembering her. In our years together, she tended to be the gas pedal and the mover and shaker; I tended to be the seat belt and manager of everything. No wonder I didn’t become more of what she instilled in me. I later realized something else: Because I lost her, I’ve become more broken, more stripped down, and more focused than I’ve ever been in…