Staying out of the Heavenly Doghouse

April 9, 2026 · by Peter Lundell · in Entries

One day after having wanted to die and go be with Kim, a thought filled my mind: Do you really want to go to Heaven and spend eternity without having fulfilled your life’s calling? Don’t you want to take that with you to Heaven?

Later I thought that if God answered my prayer to die, I would also have to face Kim in Heaven. Oh no. I imagined her meeting me at Heaven’s gate, and instead of greeting me, she might say, “Pete! What are you doing here? Get back there and fulfill God’s calling on your life!”

I would not want to be in Kim’s doghouse for eternity. And she would be right.

And that’s the point from which I finally determined to live and to pursue God’s calling on the rest of my life. I’m not full-on doing it yet because I’m still processing the grief, but I’m getting there.

Objectively, this all seems rather hilarious. Here’s a guy determining to pursue God’s calling on his life—but it’s less out of faith and more out of avoiding embarrassment for eternity.

Seems that this would preach better in a comedy show than in church.

But it’s true. And for me it’s not unusual.

In our first year of marriage back in the 1980s, we lived by faith in a big way. Yet I often got stressed out. I’d complain either to Kim or to God that God wasn’t coming through. Then God’s provision came through. Then I went into the bedroom and repented. And the scenario would repeat itself.

I finally got so embarrassed about doubting, complaining, then seeing answer to prayer, then repenting, that I simply cut out the doubt and complaint parts and reconnected the faith and receiving parts. It worked.

I grew in faith because I got tired of being embarrassed by lack of faith. How spiritual I am. Yet God has never seemed to mind my motivations. I suspect he finds humor in them.

Have you thought or acted in embarrassing ways in your walk of faith? Did you deal with it and keep going forward anyway? The important thing is what you ultimately believe and do–like Jesus’ parable of the two sons in Matthew 21:28–31.

However flawed you may be, seek and align yourself with what you perceive God is calling you to be and to do. Then do it. Even if it’s a mess. In God’s hands things will sort out.

What would that be in your life?