Light in the Tunnel

Have you ever felt this way: I feel as if I’m in a dark tunnel, yet I sense God’s presence with me. As in Psalm 23:4, walking through the valley of the shadow of death, God is with me. And in the surrounding darkness God’s presence is light around me.
 
Still, in my human grief with half of me now gone, missing Kim sinks in. As the initial shock of her death wears off, and maintaining my composure is no longer essential for her sake, the grief actually gets worse.
 
I miss her so much that sometimes I don’t have much interest in living any more—and I’m a pastor and Bible college teacher. But I’m learning that it’s part of grief. I’ve got good company, like David in the Psalms and Apostle Paul in Philippians 1.
 
I ask myself, why should I keep living?
 
I’m finding an answer: to become everything that God intends me to become. That’s what Kim’s life was all about—and partly why I married her. Continuing to pursue this gives me an existential reason to live. God’s presence is my light in the tunnel, guiding me forward.
 
The only thing we take with us to the other side is who we are and how we’ve lived that out. Everything we do flows from who we are. So growing into all God made us to be is arguably the most important thing we can do with our life. And it’s lifelong until we leave this earth.
 
Everything we say, everything we do, everything we accomplish in life flows from who we are. Kim’s ministry was about leading people into the fullness of Christ. And that is my highest intention, my reason to live. Her passion, her prayer, her words, and her example will continue to guide me—as they do for you if you knew her.
 
Whatever is going on in your life—especially if it’s hard—I encourage you to pursue or maximize your reason for living. Resolve to ever more fully become the person God created you to be.
 
Picture that person in your mind.
What do you see?
What, if anything, hinders you?
What will spur you forward?

Peter Lundell

Art: Gerd Altmann|Pixaby