A Thumbnail Theology – Peter Lundell, D.Miss.
A foundational biblical principle on marriage and divorce:
God takes the marriage covenant very seriously,
and Christians in the covenant of marriage
are expected to work out their problems and not divorce.
Yet an innocent, violated divorced spouse may receive God’s grace.
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Exodus 21:10–11
Divorce is allowed for neglect of a spouse.
Deuteronomy 24:1
A certificate of divorce: Besides being an official written record of the divorce, this certificate also protected a woman from exploitation, whether by her ex-husband or any other man. And it legally freed her to remarry.
Malachi 2:16
God hates divorce and violence against a wife.
Neglect in the extreme would include things like disappearance, also abuse—especially violence. Spousal abuse is a violent breaking of the marriage covenant to have and to hold. Thus ongoing spousal abuse is almost always, and universally, considered a biblically legitimate ground for divorce.
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Matthew 5:31–32
In verse 31, Jesus comes against those who take marriage and divorce lightly. Verse 32 simply says that if a man divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, even she (the innocent, violated one) becomes an adulteress. (If she has committed sexual immorality [porneia], she has made herself an adulteress.) And if she remarries, the man who marries her becomes an adulterer.
This one verse is by far more simple and strict than any other verse in the Bible.
Matthew 19:3–8 / Mark 10:2–9
The Hillelite rabbinic tradition before and during Jesus’ time advocated “any cause” divorce out of a twisted, chauvinistic interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1. Jesus comes strongly against this and makes clear that marriage is God’s intention from the beginning of creation and that it is a covenantal kind of relationship ordained by God, which is to be honored, protected, and not broken.
Matthew 19:9 / Mark 10:10–12
Matthew says this to men, who held all the power. Mark clarifies that the same is true for women.
If you divorce your spouse for whatever reason—except for sexual immorality and presumably the Old Testament allowances—and remarry, you commit adultery because you would be violating the original marital covenant.
If you are not the violator of the marital covenant, you are not considered adulterous. Implicitly, as the violated party, you may thus remarry.
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1 Corinthians 7:10–11
You must not separate from or divorce your spouse. You are in a marriage covenant. So be Christians and work out your problems. If you do not work out your problems and you divorce, you should remain unmarried. To remarry would be to commit adultery against the original marriage covenant.
1 Corinthians 7:15
When one spouse is an unbeliever and leaves the marriage, or if the person is being adulterous or abusive and is finally unrepentant, one might truly say that despite any claim the person may make, their thinking and actions are those of an unbeliever—or at the very least, they are living in hypocrisy and/or violation of the covenant.
Desertion breaks the covenant bond. Adultery is a form of deserting the marriage covenant. The abandoned believer is not commanded to stay in the marriage.
If the unbelieving spouse leaves, let them do so. The remaining person is no longer bound to the marriage covenant and is free to remarry.
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1 Corinthians 6:9–10, 11
This is Paul’s sin list of those who will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Adultery is included on the list.
Verse 11 says the believers were/are washed, sanctified, and justified in Christ. In a word, believers can be redeemed.
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James 2:13
“Judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.” This could apply to those who through abuse or adultery violate an innocent spouse and break the marriage covenant through divorce.
“Mercy triumphs over judgment.” As Jesus consistently showed mercy toward those who were victims of injustice, this statement could apply to those who have been the offended spouse when the other spouse is abusive or adulterous.
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Why is Matthew 5:32 so singularly strict about the victimized spouse being an adulterer?
Being in the Sermon on the Mount is primarily why. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus sets God’s standards. They are absolute and far above the Pharisees’ standards—impossible to attain. In it, we see our total need for God’s grace. And in it we see God’s grace implied.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus also comes against rabbinic traditions of dividing commandments into mitzvot kalot (“light commandments,” which they taught were not very serious) versus mitzvot chamurot (“heavy commandments,” which they taught were indeed serious). This is particularly the case in 5:17–48. Rabbinic tradition, in its chauvinistic ways, did not take divorce seriously, and Jesus is harshly rebuking that and saying divorce is very serious—so much so that you cause the innocent, violated spouse to be adulterous. (This high standard is in the same context of anger connected to murder / lust connected to adultery / cutting off one’s eye or had rather than losing faith and going to Gehenna / expectation of being perfect / criticizing a speck in another person’s eye while having a log in your own eye.)
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus shows us that God’s standard is absolute in all the subjects he speaks about—including divorce.
But in the whole counsel of Scripture, we always see God’s grace that in the actual working out of a divorce—as evidenced in all other biblical passages—only the adulterous person in the marriage is considered adulterous. And the innocent spouse is not. And thus the innocent one may remarry with God’s blessing.
Before God gives his grace, he first sets his exceedingly high standard. Why? Because without doing this, people would trivialize or abuse God’s grace.
God clearly hates divorce. But grace is given to an innocent, violated spouse.
